


A big ol' mistake that went too damn far

by Dumbassidiot



Category: Just my dumb brain, No Fandom
Genre: Cereal Blasphemy, Established Relationship, M/M, Original Character(s), Partial Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 01:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20201302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumbassidiot/pseuds/Dumbassidiot
Summary: Ebby and Riznen stole a house and are living their fairy tale domestic BLISS.(Or are they???)





	A big ol' mistake that went too damn far

**Author's Note:**

> "Put the milk on the table." and "This is only the beginning" were my guidelines for the first and last bits of dialogue. (Be proud of me nightvale presents.)

“Put the milk on the table.”

“Milk….?” Ebros echoes quizzically as he opens the fridge.

“It’s in the back.” Riznen clarifies. “There should be a bottle.”

Riznen scoots his chair forward and places his spoon parallel to his bowl. It's been a strange week. Maybe that's why he has the sudden urge to try 'breakfast'. His demonic nature never seemed to require it, but Riznen decides it's time to step out of his comfort zone. It certainly helps that he now has a pantry full of food and some free time at his disposal. The food came with the house so he might as well try it, it would be such a waste otherwise.

"Found it!" A few seconds later Ebros strides over and dramatically plunks the glass bottle on the table. He bows. “Here you go my dear, some fresh cow squeezens.”

“Thanks.” 

Ebros raises an eyebrow as he watches Riznen flick off the cap and pour the milk into the empty bowl. 

"Cereal today.” Ebros comments as casually as he can, still hovering around the breakfast table. He jerks his head in the direction of cereal box next to the milk filled bowl. It was more of an obvious statement to himself than an actual question. "Very. Interesting."

“I’m experimenting,” is all Riznen says as he grabs the box and dumps its contents unceremoniously into the milk. Satisfied, he swirled the mixture with his spoon and takes a bite. "Join me." Riznen adds after a moment. Obliging, Ebros sinks into the chair opposite of his partner and watches him eat with increasing awe. 

“I really don’t know what's weirder. The fact that you’re actually eating food right now or that I just watched you pour the milk in before the cereal. Y'know. Like a sociopath. I'm really hypnotized over here, it's like watching an accident happen, I can't look away.”

“So there is a process to it. I was wondering about that.” Riznen says, bringing the spoon back up towards his mouth, exposing his canines for a fraction of a second before chewing the cereal. "Tell me." 

Ebros leans forward in his chair and grins, his own tiefling teeth equally white and almost as sharp. “Of course there's a process! The cereal goes in the bowl before the milk as ritual dictates! Messing with the order of events is like….." Ebros pauses then thumps his hand on the table. "Like putting on one sock, then one shoe, then the other sock, then the other shoe! If someone saw you doing something like that in public they’d be rioting in the streets, just a whole chaotic clusterfuck! It goes against the social order!” Ebros waves at the world outside the kitchen in a resigned manner. "You understand. It's that sort of thing." He gives Riznen a condescending but humorous pat on the head, taking care to avoid the curved purple horns. Riznen's black mohawk is ruffled slightly.

“That bad, hm?" 

Ebros nods his head gravely, his tail flicking back and forth underneath the chair. 

"The cereal gets wet either way, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal what goes in first.” Riznen taps his spoon at the bottom of his near empty bowl. "The milk before cereal approach lets you gage the amount of cereal more accurately—" 

"Hey, hey, hey. I completely agree with you but that kind of controversial talk stays in this kitchen, Riz. I can't have you ruining our reputation in the neighborhood." Ebros pokes an accusing finger at his counterpart. "We'd be kicked out instantly, babe. You always were an innovator but I'm not becoming a pariah because my boyfriend has some fucked up new ideas about cereal consumption." 

When Ebros gets like this it's better to play along. Riznen sighs and scratches the stubble on his face. "Okay okay - I suppose the world isn't ready for this kind of realization. It's too much to handle.” 

He takes a moment to wonder what their reputation in the neighborhood might actually be. Riznen doubts that anyone has entirely registered their presence yet, what with how quickly the previous family left. The decision to become homeowners was an impulsive one, but all it took was Riznen knocking on a random door and suggesting the family immediately sell their house and leave the premises. _And they were kind enough to leave the house fully furnished_, thinks Riznen. _How nice of them_. He doesn't consider it "stealing" because he's fully compensated the previously residing family with more than enough money for a new home. It only took a minimal amount of persuasion, and if they had an issue with it they didn't bring it up.

"Exactly! The truth would shatter society! They're not ready for that kind of knowledge! They'd question reality!" Ebros pounds the table and turns away to gesticulate emphatically at an invisible audience as he shakes a fist shouts something about conformity to the masses. It's all in good fun. Riznen watches these pantomime antics with amusement and lets a smile slip across his face as Ebros pauses his rant to pop a discarded bit of cereal in his mouth. He crunches, then stops, his face flickering between emotions.

"Hey Riz what does this stuff taste like to you?" 

Riznen swallows his last spoonful and gives the question half a seconds thought. “....Salty.”

Ebros wrinkles his nose and squints at him through his glasses, mentally calculating the sincerity of his partner's response. At last he gives up and says, “Salty. Alright. Sure. I guess Cookie Crisps can be salty. Not exactly my favorite cereal or even the best cereal but I suppose if you're serious about cereal everyone's gotta start somewhere. I'd actually maybe eat a cookie first before you try this but we can get to that."

"Cookies?" Riznen can tell from Ebros's thoughts surrounding the subject it's something he particularly enjoys. Some sort of sugary confection.

"The enlarged version of the tiny abominations you're partaking in right now." Ebros makes a circle with his fingers and mimes taking a bite. "I'm actually a bit surprised you didn't pick something well...better. Better than cereal. I mean, I guess it's been jail food for a while so cereal is better but you didn't exactly eat th—" 

“I told you," Riznen repeats, falling into the tone he uses when Ebros is being willfully ignorant. "I’m experimenting. It’s been a while since I’ve tried mortal forms of nourishment. A few decades actually. I just thought it would be—" he pauses, searching for the right word.

"Fun?" suggests Ebros, innocently.

"Useful. Eating will help me blend in with society. And what better way to learn to enjoy food than partake in the salty mortal delights of—” he looks at the cereal box. "General Mills Whole Grain Guaranteed Cookie Crisp”.

Ebros leans forward conspiratorially, dipping his head, he looks up at Riznen through his lashes. "Well if it's mortal delights you're after you're not gonna find them in there." He smiles and his voice takes on a more sultry tone. "Although I'm sure something can be arranged—"

Riznen shoots his boyfriend a pained look. 

".....later." Ebros says finally, still smiling.

He leans back out of Riznen's personal space and takes a moment to shake his head. It looks like he's trying to clear the thought like a drawing on an Etch A Sketch. His long dark black hair shoots every which way and eventually settles back into chaotic curls. It's cute. 

"Look. Your taste buds are out of shape." Ebros says and adjusts his tinted glasses, pink today, on the bridge of his nose. "You're only sort of sure you know what you're doing. Lucky for you though I'm going to get you something good to eat— hm."

“Have you thought of another innuendo?” asks Riznen, when Ebros stands up and starts pacing. Riznen spends a second being slightly amused at how difficult it is for Ebros to stay on topic. The man is a fiend for spouting sexually charged dialogue at any given situation and Riznen is preparing himself for a hasty dick joke. It's funny at best and slightly annoying at worst. And overall harmless until it becomes. Effective.

“I was just thinking ...does this mean you’ll finally eat my cooking?" Ebros inquires, scratching his beard and ignoring the comment Riznen just made.

His voice had an odd note of sincerity in it but Riznen presses him. “I’ve never seen you cook. You heat things up and eat it, sure, but I’m pretty sure anyone can do that.”

"I'm sorry Riznen that I never had the opportunity to cook in a JAIL CELL! I really should have tried harder, huh?" Ebros does his best to look offended but after a second he laughs. “Okay you’re right! I know! And you have no reason to assume I'm being genuine b-u-u-u-t if you start eating,” Ebros leans over and pecks Riznen on the cheek. “I’ll actually try! Doesn't that sound nice?" 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Riznen says, as he moves his empty cereal bowl to the sink. He knows Ebros already thinking about a list of things he’d need to get at the store later. Black pepper. Onions. And something unfamiliar to him called 'Harissa'. He stops trying to reach Ebros's thoughts and draws back. _There's no need to do that,_ he thinks. Even though Ebros's mind is so close, so easy to reach out and hold. 

"Eban." Riznen says.

"Hm?" 

"You like the house, yes?" 

"Of course I do! It's a great house!" Ebros gives the wall a sturdy knock. "It's huge too! Gives me big _The Cask of Amontillado_ vibes. So sexy. Might go looking for wine later I bet the basement's got some, huh Rizzy?"

"You love it." 

"I love it." Ebros assures him. He rests a hand on Riznen's shoulder and squeezes. It's a comforting gesture and suddenly Riznen isn't sure where he was going with this line of questioning in the first place. Acting impulsively, he raises a hand to Ebros's face, his thumb tracing the outline of the slender pink scar that cuts across his carmine cheek. The one he's seen over and over for the past few months while they were both incarcerated together. At this distance Riznen can see multiple tiny scars that sit on Ebros's skin. All faded breaks in the vast amounts of red. 

Ebros's eyes widen at the sudden contact, but his expression settles almost instantaneously.

"Riz…." 

It would be appropriate to kiss him, Riznen thinks. He could kiss Ebros right now, as he's kissed him before. It's his nature as an incubus, he thinks. To kiss, to charm, to seduce. To understand the framework of the victim's mind, to pry into thoughts, to dissect. He could reach Ebros's mind now if he wanted to. Hear what he's thinking about him. But Ebros isn't his victim. And Riznen is too busy thinking about _scars_.

Riznen has no scars. No imperfections. He can't have them, not exactly. His body is a mask of demonic glamour that shifts to suit the needs of anyone who sees it. His curved horns, his purple skin, even his dark eyes. None of them are his. He's not a tiefling even if he masquerades as one. It's never bothered him before. _Is it bothering him? Why is he thinking about this at all._ Riznen lowers his hand.

Ebros is staring at him expectantly.

"What?" 

"I said you look preoccupied." repeats Ebros. "Are you alright, Riz?" 

Riznen shakes himself out of his haze and frowns. He usually not so ...inattentive. Still frowning, he looks down at the love of his life. His dark eyebrows are knit together with worry, his mouth, an uncharacteristic tight lipped line. The expression doesn't suit him and Riznen feels a stab of annoyance. His lip curls slightly into the beginnings of a snarl, but he stops himself. 

Instead he just nods and waves away Ebros's unease. "I was just lost in thought," He smiles and reaches out to cup Ebros's jaw for a few seconds, letting his hand linger momentarily near Ebros's neck on the way there. "Don't worry about it."

"Sure thing chief." Ebros salutes him with rejuvenated energy, all signs of distress and concern instantly evaporating at those words. 

"Eban." 

"Yes?"

"......I need to be alone. Go upstairs."

Confusion flashes across Ebros's face, but it's quick. Wordlessly he exits the room and something inside of Riznen's chest twists painfully. "This is only the beginning..." He murmurs. Somehow he knows.

**Author's Note:**

> im tired.


End file.
